You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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