I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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