I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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