reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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