so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
