I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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