That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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