More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
