I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Can I color on your dick again?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
