Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
