allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
