please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
