Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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