just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
