Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
