Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize