I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
