can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
