we have officially lost it.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
