His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
