I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
sarcasm needs its own font
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
