God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
