Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
