We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
