Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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