Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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