Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
