I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He called his prostate his "boner button".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
