were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
