Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
not ubering you a puppy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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