I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
