I CAN MOONWALK!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
