Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
