I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
