The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
