lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There are leaves in my underwear?
Panties = found
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