real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your tits are I can't wait for
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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