I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
