Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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