I think im going to throw up on grandma
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
