woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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