Im at strip club and am horny
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
