Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize