Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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