Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
