i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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