a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
