lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize