you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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