it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize