That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
