so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
