He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
