lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
