did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
