help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Randomize
