just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
